A little off subject for my rant/blog today...a personal story

The last 7/8 months or so have been an extreme turning point for me. Not sure at what point my thinking changed or my will power kicked in, but when it did I just went with it. I believed in myself enough to try, and in doing so I proved to myself that I could do anything I put my mind to. What an amazing feeling!! In the 2 years since I was sick I have lost about 55 lbs, I’d say about 35 of that in the last 6 months. I feel great. I have a feeling of confidence that I have never had before. I guess I can chalk some of that up to age as well, I’m at that “I really don’t give a shit what you think about me” phase in my life, and I like it a lot.

1^st thing  - to get over my fear of the gym. It was getting colder and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to walk over at Roxbury Park for much longer. I started looking at a couple gym options because I have joined before, signed a contract for a year and pretty much wasted my money. Hours didn’t work for me, and when I was off, they were closed. But this time I found Snap Fitness, open 24 hours and about the same price as the other places. After months of working out and losing weight I noticed a lot of new people at the gym. Yes, most were out of shape and I thought to myself  “Good for you, you’re doing something, you made a commitment to getting healthier”… Then it hit me, I’m an idiot!! All that time I was afraid of going to the gym because I was afraid I was going to look stupid or feel out of place, nobody cares!!! People are at the gym to work out, feel better and sweat. I’m sure most didn’t even know I was there, and that works for me.

2^nd thing – I had to change my way of eating and thinking about what I was eating. Do I really want to drink that soda that has 300 calories after I just spent 2 hours in the gym? I think not. I did not give anything up, I just made changes to what I ate, when I ate and how much. I never denied myself because that would just make me want it more. But the harder I worked out and the more I started to see results the more disciplined my food choices became. It didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen.

I make it a point to break a sweat every day. If I can’t make it to the gym, I have work out DVDs at home and recumbent bike. I just ride my bike for 30-60 minutes. I have a stability ball, so I’ll work on my abs. I do something…I have too. I’ve come so far, I will not go back. Also, I follow a few personal trainers on Facebook and twitter, they often post motivational tips and exercise pointers.

Down side? Clothes…none of my clothes fit, I can handle that!!

Anyway…the whole thing on the weight loss and working out wasn’t even why I wrote this blog, hahaha, I’m not sure I can put into words how I’m feeling. After spending most of my life feeling like I wasn’t worthy, that I wasn’t important, that it didn’t matter if I existed or not…I wake up now and look in the mirror and finally I can say, I do matter and I will make a difference. This year I am throwing myself back into charity work. Started working on a team for Relay for Life, of course Cruisin’ for Courtney will be back in May, and I’m looking into a few other charities that help kids with cancer. One thing I am realizing, it’s never too late to make a difference. Smile at someone who looks like they are having a bad day, give help even when you the person your helping has nothing to offer you. (I read A LOT of motivational quotes..lol)

Moving on….

Another wakeup call and proof of changing and growing....recently I had an issue with some internet acquaintances. I thought we were friends, talked, tweeted, texts. But true to form…people are only out for themselves. Jealousy is a nasty little problem. But it also helps you weed through those who care and those who don’t. Without going into detail, I will just say, had this been a few years ago and someone told lies about me or betrayed my trust, I probably would have spent my days fighting and defending myself against it (hell hath no fury like mine..ask around..lol) But you know, that’s just not going to work for me anymore. I am at peace with myself, they cant bring me down. You don’t ask me my side of the story, you insult me and think your better than me. Then you really don’t deserve my friendship. The funny thing is, I could easily win the battle since every word that was said in dm's goes straight to email, but it’s just not worth fighting. The other one who betrayed my trust, I think I understand why, but even that doesn’t matter. I have learned to forgive, but to never forget. My life does not revolve around internet popularity or how much attention I get. I would rather have a few good friends than a bunch of people who really don’t care…Quality over quantity! The best part of that situation…it led me to an amazing friend. Someone so much like me it’s scary…lol. When I told her the situation her response to me, “Some people are in your life to be your friend, others are in your life to bring you friends…and if that was/is her reason for being in our lives, I for one am grateful.” So..looking at it that way I ended up coming out ahead #WINNING 

one last thought before I end this loooong rant...I rememebed something I said a few months ago and I want to remind everyone. Don't wait till a child is dying to open your hearts and show love.

Much Love ~Anita